hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
