Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
