ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
