They have a pepper shaker for pot.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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