can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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