Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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