CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Your penis caused this!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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