Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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