I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
