I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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