her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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