Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize