Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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