were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
