Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
