Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
