So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
