I just saw a hot homeless man
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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