I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
