He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize