BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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