So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
