I cockslap morals
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
