I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
