i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
