wrigley field is MILF paradise
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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