DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
