You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
