dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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