apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
