Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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