I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
