Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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