At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have surprise drugs for everyone
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
