I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
