I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
pray to the hookup gods
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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