I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
