Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
