wat bout pragnant strippers??
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize