There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
