Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
