all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
