We won't sleep together?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
