the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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