I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
