two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
