she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
