Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
