If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
