Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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