So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I love you.
Bad choice
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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