In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
