one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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