Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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