ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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