All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
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