How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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