jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
