Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
