You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
