i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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