my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
