just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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