dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
