Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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