Me. At least after what I've been through.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
