Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
