Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize