And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
