At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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