you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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