I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize